Monday, February 23, 2009

You Might be a Millennial if… (Continued 5)

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I couldn’t resist trying for a bit of humor to brighten your day.To catch up on the background, read “The Millennials are Coming…”. You will quickly understand that we in business are facing a new generation of workers who come from a world that is alien to businesses today.

You might be a millennial if…

1. You think your company user-group meetings have something to do with drug rehab.

2. You don’t understand why they are making all that fuss about you printing out the nudie fliers on the company printer for your best friend’s band’s show.

3. You marvel at how your interests have “grown up”, from tracking your friends exploits on FaceBook, to tracking Jessica Simpson’s exploits on E! Online.

4. You have posted in your cube the multi-page list of cool downloads from iTunes, to highlight your natural leadership ability.

5. Your concern on hearing comments about an "Axis of evil" is that you must have missed a really “rad” party.

6. Your tried to set up the next weekly team conference call as texting-only, to make it more productive.

7. You are certain that the company policy against drinking while entertaining customers only applies if you are under age 21.

8. You are protesting the unfair company medical benefits limitations on procedures so critical to your age group, like body implants, piercings, and tattoo removal.

9. You recommended to the training department that a 3D virtual reality game would be a perfect way to prepare new employees for company jobs.

10. You overheard some executives talking about the “dot-com bust”, which was a mystery since you couldn’t think of a woman named Dot who worked in this office.

You also might be a millennial if all these points strike you as intuitively obvious. See more of these
published previously. This is so much fun that I might make it a regular offering, if you help me out with some new points. I’ve always believed that there are serious messages that we can learn from every bit of humor.

Marty Zwilling


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Monday, February 16, 2009

You Might be a Millennial if… (Continued 4)

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I couldn’t resist trying for a bit of humor to brighten your day.To catch up on the background, read “The Millennials are Coming…”. You will quickly understand that we in business are facing a new generation of workers who come from a world that is alien to businesses today.

You might be a millennial if…

1. You haven’t been able to take any customers out to lunch since the calculator function on your cell phone quit working.

2. You blame the computer spell check function for embarrassing you on a recent quick email to the boss - "How many pubic holidays do we get this year?"

3. When you heard the CEO talking about using an executive search firm to get quality candidates, you pulled a list of several hundred from Monster.com.

4. You assured your team that you had grown up with the internet and could truly grok the project documentation in a week.

5. You have decorated your cubicle like your old dorm room, and packed in some pajamas for those planned late night collaborative sessions.

6. You learned the power of HTML back in the old days while customizing your MySpace home page.

7. You have only been with the company a month, but you are feel entitled to a shot at that Vice President position which just opened up.

8. You don’t wait for dress-down Fridays to wear your Nike Dunks and ride your skateboard to work.

9. You can’t remember a time when you could understand the words in a new song, without first having to look them up on the Internet.

10. All your friends have at least one body piercing or tattoo, so you never thought twice about asking your boss to show you hers.

You also might be a millennial if all these points strike you as intuitively obvious. See more of these
published previously. This is so much fun that I might make it a regular offering, if you help me out with some new points. I’ve always believed that there are serious messages that we can learn from every bit of humor.

Marty Zwilling


Share/Bookmark

Monday, February 9, 2009

You Might be a Millennial if… (Continued 3)

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I couldn’t resist trying for a bit of humor to brighten your day.

To catch up on the background, read “The Millennials are Coming…”. You will quickly understand that we in business are facing a new generation of workers who come from a world that is alien to businesses today.

You might be a millennial if…

1. You recently applied for the job of company Personnel Manager, since you assume it’s nearly the same as “personal Manager”, the job you always wanted with Paris Hilton.

2. When asked about your international experience, you mention that you just returned from a week in Hawaii with your new girlfriend.

3. Your biggest long-term planning concern is figuring out who will cook for you when your parents move in to assisted living.

4. Your best business ideas come to you while “lurking” social networking websites.

5. Your new boss is so hot, that when she mentioned the job comes with “benefits,” you signed on immediately.

6. You quit your job at Google because the Virtual Corporation formed by your geek-friends made you a better offer.

7. You offered to be the official photographer at the company picnic, using your cell phone camera.

8. You are amazed at the company policy requiring reimbursement of personal long-distance charges, since you thought there was now a law providing unlimited minutes to everyone.

9. You are not happy with the vibes at this company, so you have your mom calling around to other companies looking for a new gig.

10. You take real pride in the top item on your resume - in the Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 video game you were able to score 3,600,000 in a two minute run with no cheats.

You also might be a millennial if all these points strike you as intuitively obvious. See more of these published previously. This is so much fun that I might make it a regular offering, if you help me out with some new points. I’ve always believed that there are serious messages that we can learn from every bit of humor.

Marty Zwilling


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Monday, February 2, 2009

You Might be a Millennial if… (Continued 2)

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I couldn’t resist trying for a bit of humor to brighten your day.

To catch up on the background, read
“The Millennials are Coming…”. You will quickly understand that we in business are facing a new generation of workers who come from a world that is alien to businesses today.

You might be a millennial if…

1. You are perturbed that the guy in the next cube keeps interrupting you with his questions, rather than just sending a text message.

2. You feel discouraged that you haven’t yet been promoted, considering all the fun suggestions that you have texted to everyone in the department this month.

3. Your mom insisted in sitting in on your job interview, so she could make sure you were treated fairly.

4. You are disappointed that this job is not as fulfilling as your last summer spent working at a lead-free pottery studio in Oaxaca, Mexico.

5. When asked to suggest an inspirational speaker for the company event who had survived adversity, your first thought was to ask Britney Spears.

6. You are proud of your communication skills, evidenced by the old trophy still on your desk, from when you first sent more than 5,000 text messages per month to friends.

7. You love to explore new worlds, so you can’t wait for those company business trips you suggested to Africa and southeast Asia, to scout for new products with real meaning.

8. You are convinced that the CIO and CIA are the same thing, especially since you know someone is reading all your Twitter posts.

9. You feel comfortable wearing your Abercrombie & Fitch moose logo t-shirt every day to work, EXCEPT for dress-down Fridays.

10. Your only “big company” dream is taking over the legacy of Steve Jobs and creating more insanely great products.

You also might be a millennial if all these points strike you as intuitively obvious. See more of these
published previously. This is so much fun that I might make it a regular offering, if you help me out with some new points. I’ve always believed that there are serious messages that we can learn from every bit of humor.

Marty Zwilling


Share/Bookmark